exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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