I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have aggressive nipples.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
