My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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