Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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