please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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