Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
