Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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