My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
