Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
