yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
