She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
one two three fourrrrnication!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
