The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
