brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
