watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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