i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
