Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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