i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
