Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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