you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
