If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
