I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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