I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
