I want to have your abortion
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
