dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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