tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
