it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
operation have a gay friend backfired
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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