This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
