My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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