So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
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I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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