Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize