I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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