i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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