East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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