We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
