Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
