If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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