if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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