i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize