i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
