I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You are a genius and a whore.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
