I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
