I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize