i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize