When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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