:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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