It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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