I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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