Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i dont even know how to be here
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
