I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
