I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize