it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
