I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
