Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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