i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
