Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
