I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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