I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
