I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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