so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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