I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
