Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
