He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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