you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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