This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
